You decided to meet and on your first date things go great. Generally everything feels wonderful. However there is one problem: I had touched on a similar topic last year in my post my boyfriend has kept his online dating profile active. First off let me say that many men keep their profiles active even though they are interested in the woman they are regularly dating.
They like having women contacting them…even if they are rejecting all of them as it makes them feel desirable. If you think this is annoying I definitely understand but I would still encourage tact when you try to resolve this issue.
In some cases, this could cause what he saw as a healthy, budding relationship to end abruptly. I even had one reader who had gave the man a hard time the day after their first date when his profile was still up.
I have been dating a man I met on Match. We have a great time together and he calls every night to chat or say goodnight. I am really interested in him and I get the feeling that he feels the same way. My issue comes with him still having his profile up, and with my curiosity getting the best of me, I check almost everyday just to see when he last logged on — seems to be every few days or so.
I have read what you have written on this subject and I know you said that men are slower to remove their profiles than woman — so my question is how long is reasonable to wait for him to do this before you say something or begin to feel offended by it? His response actually makes me wonder if he even realizes that he could hide his profile. Silly logic aside, I would He still has his dating profile up any reader who has this issue the same thing I asked the woman who contacted me: Until the conversation happens, I would say it is fair for a guy to keep his profile up.
Perhaps not nice or courteous but not unfair either. If you have agreed to be exclusive, things are easy: Where does he see this relationship going, exactly? As I discussed above, I would recommend against being aggressive or angry. Still, these are areas you will need him to define. Try not to force them but at the same time you will want to look for opportunities let him know that you need to know where you stand with him.
For example, at the end of a nice evening together especially if the two of you are commenting on how much you enjoy spending time together you could bring up your concerns on not knowing where you stand in the relationship. These are tricky conversations and can be difficult to work your way into. However, I can give some general advice. Second, I believe the following guidelines can help when having your conversations:.
A month is enough time to decide if you want to pursue a relationship further. Still, use your best judgment. One thing about the advice above is that someone women will want to start this process immediately after the first date. As a matter of fact, making an issue of things at this point could create a problem when no problem previously existed.
Just as some people have trouble committing, others are far too quick to try to do so. The reader above waited six weeks and I think that is very patient. In her case, it is very reasonable for her to expect her guy to offer some clarity on where he sees their relationship going. To sum it all up: I would expect that within the first month of actively dating each other that you should have an idea of where you stand and I would expect his profile to be down.
In the cases He still has his dating profile up his profile is still up, I would expect that another month after bringing up your concerns is all it should take for him to decide and it really should be much faster than this.
I met my boyfriend on an online dating website years ago. We dated for a year And then we moved in together. Everything was going great. He had mentioned getting marrired and I told him he was crazy. We even went shopping for rings in January.
Then in Febuary, I was at home and i needed to use his computer to chek and email. My computer was occupied. HIs computer automatically goes right to his email. There was all these messages from the dating website that we meet on. I clicked "He still has his dating profile up" one and there was his profile.
I expected to see the original profile from when we first meet but this one was different and his profile picture was a picture of him and his daughter that we took we moved in and decided to take family portraits to hang around the house.
The site was deleted and I never heard anything else about it. He totally denied that he was on the site and could not see how the picture got on it. I was not satisfied with his anwser so I kept a close eye on things.
Everyone and a while I would get on his phone or computer and check. I never saw another email, there were no text from random girls, or phone calls that seemed weird. We lived together over a year later and then he one day just moved out.
He said that his ex did not want his daughter at my house anymore and that was that. HE said that he wants to continue dating me and that he wants to work on things. Things were tough at first but then they seemed to be getting better. We had an amazing day on Tuesday from start to finish. He suprised me first thing in the morning with an execpected visit, we went to a braves game that we had scheduled a week before and He still has his dating profile up he invited me to spend the night at his place.
I loved waking up in his arms again.
I told him that it hurt to see him on the site and that i felt that everything was going good and i did not understand why he was on. He said that I was making a big deal out of nothing.
But after three years of giving my heart to him I feel that I deserve more than that, I feel that he is being disrespectful and dishonest if he is spending all this time with me and He still has his dating profile up he loves me, we are even doing 5 love languages together to help our relationship.
A friend of mine said that he is a pisces and thats just the way they are. They like to look and the crave for attention from the opposite sex. She says not to worry at all. I will tell you that he does the same with his job though. He always will have one job and continue to look for a bigger and better job even if he has no intention of leaving the one that he has.
I need to know if I should worry. This whole thing is eating me up. Kick him to the curb. Better now than later. Move on and find someone that understands you better.
Juls — my personal opinion is that you have every right to be concerned. I mean, the guy moved out with no warning. You can
He still has his dating profile up a book together but if he turns around and starts putting a profile online, what good has it done? Were I in your situation, I would make it clear to whomever I was dating that absolute commitment was of the utmost importance to me.
I would just be concerned that this type of game could continue for years. I deleted my profile ages ago, but this afternoon I had a look and he is still using it.
He still has his dating profile up He even used it last night, and I just dont know what to do about it. I think he likes me. But I just dont know how to really tell if his idea of a relationship is the same as mine or if he just wants to date.
I try to kind of ask, but he always makes me feel so stupid for asking, as I should and think I trust him. But I just dont know. Its been 4 months. Should I ask him to take it down or…. I met him through an online dating site six months ago.
We have been dating regularly ever since.
He talks marriage, knows my ring size, and talks about our future and potential children. He will be turning 30 soon and I am 6 years younger. About a month ago, I complained about his dating profile still being active. We definitely argued a bit and I told him to go on a date, if he liked the girl, we were done obviously.