It was a sentiment echoed by many conservative commentators whose books and articles I eagerly read, feeling that they affirmed my own feelings and experiences. Looking back on it, though, I can understand why I believed that: I thought that casual sex was degrading because I had felt degraded every time I had it. It was because my hookup partners had treated me like an object, like a means to an end.
The more I learned about feminism, the more I realized that my experiences with casual sex with men fit into a much broader pattern of structural sexism. Through their coded language and their failure to look at hookup culture through a feminist lens, these critics reveal the fact that, ultimately, they think that people especially young people, and especially young women having casual sex is just kind of immoral and icky. Of course hookup culture is sexist.
There are still things we can do to make our hookups less sexist and more empowering.
But some parts of this article will also apply to queer hookups. In many heterosexual hookup situations, the focus is on the man having an orgasm, and when he does, the hookup is over.
If you still feel awkward talking about sex, these tips may help. However, when it comes to sex, it takes at least two to tango. Even when women ask for what they want, their male hookups may not always care enough to make the effort.
What do I mean by unrealistic and toxic standards? If you hook up with men, remember that their needs and desires are as diverse as those of folks of other genders. Some may have a difficult time reaching orgasm and may need a particular type of play or stimulation in order get there.
Part of dismantling rape culture is getting rid of these tropes about casual sex once and for all. These men pursue women and try to convince them to have sex — sometimes even using coercion — and then turn around and call them sluts for agreeing. It would be like if I invited you over for a home-cooked meal and then called you greedy for accepting some food. And on the flip side, remember that you never deserve ridicule or disrespect for choosing to have sex with someone who wants to
Hook up culture facts sex with you.
If you have feelings, then you must be trying to manipulate them into a Serious Committed Relationship.