Big community funding update! April 1, 1: On OKCupid; I'm male. I don't get many responses and I understand that some women get a lot of unsolicited So, someone awesome responded and I sent a message back later the same day. So a should I have waited longer? I know I'm being impatient c how long should I wait next time? The three day rule still sort of existsfor some people, anyway.
I guess I could use the time to compose a draft response oh please don't do this -- it will be apparent, and it will probably be too long. You don't even know what you might be responding to. Chill out, go for a walk. Get away from your computer. Don't bring your smartphone. Awesome person either will or will not respond, it's out of your hands now. Do not start a potential relationship with game-playing unless you want a relationship based on game-playing.
She's probably not going to respond or maybe she's a quick-checker and does her responding at some less hurried timebut that's not because you replied right away. You're thinking way too much about this. If you're the sort who camps in front of the PC or is always on the smartphone, go ahead and write back right away if you want.
If you usually let things marinate, do that. She hasn't written back. That might be because she has a ton of messages, she's on a great date, or because she'll write back tomorrow. Yes, it could also be because she thinks you're desperate, but maybe The One will be charmed with your instant attention. I usually read messages right away. I usually don't respond until after I've thought about it a little, and that bit of procrastination means sometimes it might take a couple days for me to get around to it.
The timing of my response isn't really related to the timing of the other person's caveat: I try to respond to every message I get, and I have the impression that is not Online dating how long to wait before responding norm.
Don't stress out too much about it. Also, what Lyn "Online dating how long to wait before responding" said. If someone writes to me and is interesting, I usually take about a day to respond.
I will look at the person's profile and then think of a thoughtful reply, especially in the first message. I will generally decrease the time between messages as time goes on. If I write someone first, I usually take things at the responder's pace. If it took 2 days for the guy to respond to me, I will wait at least a day to write to him.
I don't want to overwhelm people. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when people respond too quickly. It's a tricky situation and I don't know all the correct answers. I had even toyed with the idea of asking a similar question to yours to get a general consensus of whether I'm following online dating etiquette.
Also, I've had women on okcupid reply back to me months after my last message. Don't sweat it, there are more of them out there.
You're overthinking the problem. She'll reply sometime later if she wants to, and she already responded to you once so clearly she's not completely uninterested.
Perhaps she saw the new notification, went to read it, and is planning to reply later?
That's pretty common I would imagine. Treat it like you would any other type of communication. Replying 30 seconds later looks desperate, but anywhere in the later that day to the few days later range is just fine until you know each better. I get email notice that I have new okc messages and will sometimes use the mobile site to read a new message. OKC shows that I've logged on, but I never write responses from my phone - that happens on the weekend when I can log into my home computer.
But I want to check the inbox in case a date cancelled, etc. Please don't write a response to a message you haven't seen yet. Otherwise, everything you're saying sounds good. Hopefully you feel better now you've got a load of near-instant askme responses.
But I wouldn't worry about this one message.